I lost my Mojo

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a Blog. There’s a reason for this. In fact, if I’m totally honest, I lost my way, I lost my mojo, I lost the joy.

This wasn’t a loss for the love of painting and drawing. It was the by product, over situation I had no control over and it affected me deeply. This is going to be a very personal blog. More personal then my previous blogs about the story behind a painting. What I’ve gone through the last month and a half, has made me realise that my morals, my outlook, is not mirrored by all around me. I believe people should be treated the way you want to be treated.  Treat others how you want to be treated. I’m not going to go into details about what has happened because the actual event is not what affected me the most. I will recover from that and have recovered from that, much faster than the web of lies that were created around the build up to the event.

People often talk about what are your values when they discuss business values. Loyalty, sometimes gets mentioned. Being eco friendly for instance. For me, it’s honesty. It doesn’t take any more energy to be honest with somebody, to tell them the truth, to have an awkward conversation. Yes fear can get in the way and then lies are spoken. I trust the people that I work with. They have trusted me to provide a service. There is what I thought an unwritten courtesy that people abide to.

I completely understand that awkward conversations are difficult to have. What I don’t understand is the creation of the white lies that grow and grow until they dig deep down and become much bigger. I absorb emotions, I absorb situations. It’s part of being an empath, it’s something that I thought I was able to control. I had a feeling that change was about to happen, in fact I had a card reading done by another artist who I absolutely adore and I think she is absolutely amazing. I adore her work, she is training to do Angel card readings and offered me a free session. I jumped at the chance. The reading showed there was a change.  You have to look inwardly with these cards. The process of cord cutting, removing emotional tides was mentioned. I knew that change was coming but I was expecting it to be something different to what it actually was. I was focusing on a change that I was working towards. It still is happening and it’s still going to happen but I didn’t foresee or expect something to happen before then.

I even predicted the date the change was going to happen. I picked a date and the strangest thing is that date which was so vivid to me. I knew that change was going to happen on that date.  After the event I realised that I definitely needed to work on myself. I had recognised that before I had put in motions to step back, to withdraw from creating, not to stop myself but to rest, to prepare for what was coming next. I listened to my body and I realised that I needed to rest, I needed to give myself time so that the ideas that were coming to the forefront of my mind would be super clear that I would know where I was going.

What I didn’t expect during this process was for the change to happen so abruptly that would make me have to act faster than my plan. This is not a bad thing but what I also recognises, it was showing me how not to move forward. It was showing me how to move forward. To not allow the same thing to happen to me again. I have been able to slowly bring about changes in a more effective streamline manner. I created a process, I’ve created a vision, I know where I am going, what I have to do. Now I can step out of the comfort zone that I have created and step back into the public. To share my creative process on social media. To create and put my work out there again. It is time to draw a line under what I could have dwelled on for many months because it hurt. It still hurts. But I’m looking forward now and I’m so excited and feeling positive. I just know that everything is going to slot into place because I’m allowing myself time to reflect. Time to have the ideas flow to me, loud and clear and time to act upon them.

I was launching a new collection for spring, I am very aware that we have less than four weeks left of spring. I am going to release this collection alongside another development that has happened. That would not have happened if I had not allowed myself to step back and analyse where I was going. It’s an exciting time, it’s a time that will just be amazing and I’m going to share it all and as I’ve said I’m coming out, dusting off my wings. They are fully dry now and I am ready to fly. Sometimes people can be hurtful. It doesn’t take more energy to be nice and I don’t think the intention was to be hurtful, l I think it was just an awkward situation that just never got discussed and as a result people got hurt and I was just happened to be one of those that did.

So this is me saying, I’ve been away. I have got a vision, I am moving forward and it is very exciting. In fact, I know that this another blog will be done towards the end of this week because I have paintings from my old collection that I’m going to release for sale, I’ve got paintings from my new collection that I’m releasing for sale and I’ve also got an array of products that is just mind blowing. It’s exciting, I cannot wait to share all this with you.

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